Extroverts - Live Up To Your Type. Have Better Conversations.
In this article, we offer some tips for extroverts and introverts alike that highlight some major steps they can take to improve their conversational skills.
Two noticeable problems exist today that are more prevalent than ever:
Our society today has turned into a more polarized one than ever. A simple exchange of ideas can easily lead to disputes where people are unwilling to listen to other's perspectives.
Maybe the arguments aren't happening, but the distractions are. Don't act like you're not guilty (especially you, extroverts). Technology has made us all guilty of the occasional glimpse at our phone while we're halfway listening to our friend/co-worker/significant other across from us. We are also expected to multi-task and be nearly omnipresent while juggling work & life.
So what can we do to have better conversations that will ultimately lead to better interactions, possibly more friends and opportunities for us?
Here are some great topics below, written in a digestible form ,easy for taking with you anywhere.
How to Have Better Conversations
- “Don’t multitask”– When talking with someone, give them your undivided attention. Be present in the moment and keep eye contact!
- “Don’t pontificate”– A conversation is not a lecture or a chance to promote yourself. Be open to new viewpoints and opinions. ‘Mansplainers’… just stop.
- “Use open-ended questions”– Ask and listen. Be an interviewer. Hear what you’re the responses are and build from there. (also ties into #4)
- “Go with the flow”– Follow the conversation. Respond as needed and organically, rather than focusing on being clever or thinking about what to say next. Don’t try to be funny if you are not.
- “If you don’t know, say that you don’t know”– There’s no shame in not elaborating on a topic if you don’t know the details. Just stop where you know you should. You might save yourself from looking uninformed later.
- “Don’t equate your experience with theirs”– Don’t use other people’s grief or misfortune as opportunities to unburden yourself or brag about your resilience. Empathize, not commandeer.
- “Try not to repeat yourself”– Repeating yourself is not only boring, but people might look at you like you aren’t really in the moment or kind of lost. Keep your credibility in check.
- “Stay out of the weeds”– Details you find interesting or necessary may simply bog down the conversation and bore the listener. There may be people involved in the conversation who are not the sensing, detail-oriented type.
- “Listen”– If you’re not listening, you’re not engaging in a conversation. “You’re just two people shouting out barely related sentences in the same place.”
- “Be brief”– When you talk for too long or want to dominate the conversation, you lose other people’s attention. This one is really important for those strong extroverts! Be aware of how others are reacting to you while you speak: Do they look anxious to get their word in? They probably are.
People have a lot to say. Get to know them. Have improved interactions with people. Learn from them and use what you learn to grow. Share your knowledge with them, using the tips above.
Just a little something to get you thinking about as you take these tips into consideration, from one of the most recognized extroverts in his field!:
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Our 'Extroverted Collection' is a surefire way to break the ice!
(also summarized in '10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation:)